Stealing and Lying

Younger children often make up stories in the hope that what they say will come true. As they get older, children may lie because they don’t want to admit they’ve done something wrong. They may steal because they really want something and don’t think it’s fair that they can’t have it. Teenagers often push the boundaries in an attempt to get more freedom and bend the rules.

If your child tells the occasional lie or takes something which isn’t theirs, it’s important to sit down with them and talk about why it’s wrong. You can say that lies usually get found out anyway, and that people might not trust them in the future if they tell lies. If they have stolen or taken something it’s a good idea to get them to take it back and say sorry.

It’s important for them to know at a young age they can’t have everything just because they want it, and that being dishonest hurts other people. You can give them lots of praise for being grown up enough to learn from their mistakes.

If your child is frequently telling lies or stealing, there may be something causing them to feel worried or resentful. Children who feel insecure or have low self-esteem sometimes lie to make themselves seem more exciting, or to get attention from friends or adults. Or if they are being bullied or pushed around by friends, they might lie to cover up what is going on. Stealing on a regular basis might be a sign that they feel something is missing and they are trying to make up for it. Or they may not be able to make the connection that what they have done is wrong, and find it hard to see why someone else might be hurt or upset by what they have done.

Teenagers who are drinking alcohol, taking drugs, having sex or breaking the law are very likely to lie to their parents about it. Not going into school is another common cause for lying, both to teachers and parents/carers. It may be they are trying out risky behaviour just for the thrill of it, or because all their friends are doing it. But they may be really unhappy or angry about something and can't talk about it or sort it out.